walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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