4 words: hood of his car
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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