Pappa wants mamma naked
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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