I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
