i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize