Got a toothbrush?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize