In the future we'll all be gay
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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