Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So vagazzling was a success
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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