Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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