is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
