So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I love having hate sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
