I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
