I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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