wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
