you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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