Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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