This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
