the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
