I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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