I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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