i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
