brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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