i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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