It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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