he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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