What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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