I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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