i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
