Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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