I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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