White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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