I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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