I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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