I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
