Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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