my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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