if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
