Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
