Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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