Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
