I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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