I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
