Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
