I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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