hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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