They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
