Kiss
Puke
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
