Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"it" just moved
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
