I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
