Screwed.edu
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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