i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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