the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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