Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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