she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.