this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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