i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
