i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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