She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Floor bacon is actually really good
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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