i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
