i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
