It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
