i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ