I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize