I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
